Obviously the 1st January is often a time for reflection on the year past and hope and ambition for the future. This year I'm not going to set myself up to fail and feel guilty about everything I haven't managed to achieve. This year I'm just going to make one promise to myself and that it is (drum roll please) to not let my deep seated and often irrational insecurities hold me back. Yes there are many. I suffer from terrible imposter syndrome -
I always worry that 'I'm not a florist' - however I do like to add value to my beautiful home grown flowers by arranging them, whether it be bouquets, posies or larger arrangements. 'I'm not a florist' is often how I start a client consultation; what I should be saying is 'I'm not a classically trained florist (I don't think I can count the two evening classes just before lockdown No1)! BUT I can offer you something different, something fresh and something beautiful. I can offer you beautifully British, sustainably grown, seasonal, fresh and heavenly scented flowers arranged with love and care to show them at their best'.
I worry that 'I'm not a professional flower farmer' - what does that actually mean? Just because I grow in my own garden and not a big grown up field does that mean I'm not professional? Are my flowers not worthy because they're not mass produced? No, actually they are probably better. I don't have the space to scale up that much more, let alone the time, so I can't supply an endless stream of weddings. Instead, each event is carefully booked in and planned for, meaning that I have more time to spend making your flowers just perfect and your wedding more special, treating your event like it was my own. That can't be a bad thing surely?
I worry that I'm late planting/planting too early/planting the wrong thing..... I look on Instagram and Facebook and everyone is doing something different/better...... I spend a lot of time telling my children that people only post what they want you to see and often not the reality so maybe I need to listen to that advice myself. And as for growing too early/too late or the wrong thing - do what works for you, your garden and your climate. Make a note through the seasons if you feel you are missing anything (more fillers or more blush etc). Instead of worrying about what you don't have, make the most of what you do. When a florist calls with a particular request and you don't have it, don't beat yourself up - the reason why they are calling around is because not many growers do have that particular bloom. If you get multiple calls for the same thing then maybe add it to the list next year - but only if it suits you and your space.
So, to sum it all up - my New Years resolution is to stop holding myself back, to stop berating myself and to just blooming well get on with it.
Wishing you and yours the very happiest of New Years and may 2023 be your year x
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